So, taking a queue from this hilarious post, I am going to post my 0-30 learning curve starting today and run it through my birthday, September 1. Some of these are going to be humiliating, some maybe sad, and some will be absolutely hilarious (in my humble opinion, as they sure seemed real damn funny at the time). So, let's get started.
LESSON ZERO: You don't know shit.
Just when I think I know everything, I get smacked in the face with a big dose of reality in which I discover that I have no clue. This includes the following HUGE items.
My career. So what, I have a Masters degree. So what, I have upwards of 5 years of professional skills under my belt. So what, I like to write. Nobody gives a damn about any of that! Sigh. At some point, I will have to sit down and figure out what I want to do with my professional life so that the rest of my life will have a chance to get moving again.
My love life. Trust me, this topic will be covered in greater detail in a future post, but for now, let's just say, I've lived in a one horse town where the horse is dead; I now have more gay male friends in my life than straight ones (so much so that I even dream about them); and most of my awesome female friends are also single. WTF? I like being single, but I also like that feeling you get when someone looks at you and thinks your beautiful. Where are you?!?
My Living Situation. Tied into the above two items, I have no idea where I will be living in the next 6 months. Depending on what pans out over the summer, I could be anywhere on the globe (which believe me, already has my mother worried about how I will get home for Christmas). Hell, I could be on an island in the south of France! Unlikely, but possible... you just never know! It's exciting and terrifying, and certainly not what I thought I would be worrying about when I was 15, in love with Eric Brooks and dreaming of a life I would already have established by the time I turned 30. What a joke. Not that I don't love Brooks, but that crazy, hormone-filled teenager can go fuck herself.
Please stay tuned for more to come. Dear 29 year old Shelby, watch out!