In which I have rewritten Shakespeare's To be or not to be monologue after reading The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt followed by The Fortress of Solitude by Jonathan Lethem, which both star a motherless boy coming of age.
1 To read, or not to read - that
is not the question:
2 Rather it is shall my eyes bleed
over
3 The repetitive selling points of
character and indignation,
4 Or have my mind find a better
source of entertainment
5 and forget this bildungsroman?
To cry, to howl -
6 evermore- and by cry, I mean I
see no end
7 to these hapless dreamers, these
boys with
8 no mothers to soothe them. I
date enough in my
9 paperless life to seek them in
inked dreams. To cry, to howl -
10 To howl and wish these away, it
is slight;
11 For I survived my own coming of
age. And through this rage,
12 what a woman I have become,
13 Humbled by my misuse of mania.
I still hold on
14 to the right that I deserve
more than this.
15 To be a woman who can meet a
man who can bear me,
16 Should I choose to bear another
man of our own,
17 Who in time may grow into his
own right to oppress me,
18 And hate himself for doing so?
The duality of existence,
19 Of existential crisis, of the
right to be on his own,
20 But still need me; and wonder
if I am worthy
21 of bringing him into this
world? None other than this mother,
22 Who could find the strength to
23 Look for life in a place of
unforeseen death.
24 The landscape of my womb carved
from stone,
25 Where a seed may look to find
purchase
26 to again remind me of past
implantations.
27 Am I always to remember you
lost?
28 Reframed in my mind like a
child left behind,
29 But resolute in my need to move
on,
30 To flip the page and read on,
31 To lose sight of scorn; myself
reborn,
32 Knowing that I could have never
brought this life
33 To life without all the
countermoves I bore. I sigh,
34 And seek solitude from mankind,
long overdue,
35 I close my eyes, and find the words: To be continued.
35 I close my eyes, and find the words: To be continued.
