Friday, September 18, 2009

Men Are From Mars...

You know, whenever men are asked "what are you looking for in the ideal woman?" they always answer the same thing- Someone who is is confident, smart, and funny. Some of the more shallow ones (if not just more confident themselves, as I'm sure they all think it) might say "attractive". Well that maybe what they "all" say, but when it comes down to it, I'm not sure I believe it.

Not to suggest I have an answer for what men actually want. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a smart, confident, funny girl.... and yet, the last man who made a pass at me was a homeless man on the street who whispered, "beautiful" as I walked by.

(I may have ignored him, but hey, a compliment is a compliment, even if from a dude who smells like pee).

Ok, so maybe that wasn't THE last time... I ended up back in bed with a former lover, and he told me he loved my body. Sigh. It doesn't get much better than that. Almost. I wouldn't consider dating this individual again, nor do I think he would want to try and walk down that road either. He's not even a bad guy, just kinda.... whatever.

Wow, are things really that bad? Boosting confidence by way of strangers and former lovers? As far as I'm concerned, we are in need for some serious revamping of the dating standard game. Not to mention, I used to pride myself on being "just one of the boys", that is until recently when I was casually, yet still completely awkwardly, shuffled out of an all boys chatter about a steamy vacation abroad. Most decidedly some funny stories were told, even some I will eventually hear as one of the boys is a friend of mine, but none the less, ushered out I became. Should I be upset that my status as "just being one of the boys" was striped from my uniform? Or should I consider it the natural progression of things? Hence, my original assumption- men are from Mars, and we won't ever understand.

How sad. Most of the woman I know are smart, cool, funny, beautiful and confident. What the hell? Here I am, counting the sum of recent flattery only to find it acquired by a desolate highway man and debauched been-there-done-thats. Christ. I knew The District had a slight ratio problem... and a homeless problem... but please don't tell me the Census is counting those hapless souls as part of the available single men per single women? Knowing this system, everyone counts. Like Miranda says on an early episode of Sex and The City, "I can't believe an island that small can hold all our ex boyfriends". I say, "I can't believe a city this large can hold nothing but vagrants and has-beens". Maybe that's being short-sighted. But is it?

Say men really do want these things in a companion. They want more than "that girl will do", right? I know I don't want just "that guy will do". Man, it's as if the double standard is so thick we might as well be swimming through Jello to get to the other side. Why do they get to claim such tried and true values in the fairer sex when we get immature, emotionally unavailable, possibly even mildly retarded (but adorable) dudes? How is that a fair trade?

If it is true that women are always looking for a man who is like their father, then is the same true for men? All they really want in this world is to be given the love that only a mother can give? Jesus, I surrender. I may love my Dad, but I don't really want a man like him. But I don't want a monkey either. Not to mention, last time I checked my maternal instincts haven't kicked in yet. Sigh again.

What's a girl to do?


Christina said...

Well written. I just wish I had some answers. Or that anyone did.

kmackay said...

favorite line: "(I may have ignored him, but hey, a compliment is a compliment, even if from a dude who smells like pee)."

love this. well written and funny but the funny isn't forced just natural and good. i like it.