Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Fag Hag

Disclaimer: I say "Fag Hag" with the most affection I can muster... I do have a Gay Husband after all, though, that doesn't dismiss the topic at hand.

While I am enjoying my singleness again, bounding around and what-not, I have managed to nuzzle my way cozily into the life and luxury of my dear gay compatriots rather than my other known single ones.

As in, I think I've become a Fag Hag.

I believe by sheer location alone it was bound to happen, I do live in Logan Circle, though I think the gays are moving up with the Hipsters to Columbia Heights... but that's a WHOLE other topic. I also just happen to love my Gay Husband. I spend far too much time as the straight female bestie of a group of gay boys... and I think it might be affecting my gaydar and my straight approachability. It could be why I didn't spot the glaring red flags from my last attempted bed mate. Sure, it's sweet that someone doesn't want to fuck you right away, but after a while... there's more to peel under this onion that just a little polite wariness.

Am I wrong? Turns out, no. Word of advice, don't try to make sheets out of red flags... they ain't built for that. And a girl could really just stand to get laid sometimes.

Anyway, back to my status. Fag Hag. It's such an ugly term. I like Queer Dear and Fruit Fly better... cuter, kinder almost to the friend of the fag, not quite as damning, eh? I don't want to be considered a hag on any occasion unless I planned it! I'm digressing. The whole point of this little rant is that I am constantly out there complaining about finding it hard to meet guys, and how obviously it's not me, it's them, when BAM! Like Emeril it hit me. My status as a planted Fag Hag could be hindering my ability to meet attractive, single, straight men. Duh! A girl surrounded by men- gay or straight- isn't exactly "approachable". Well there you have it. Back to the fucking drawing board.

I will not give up the good times I have with my Queens, but I might have to reconsider just what it's doing to my sex life... the fact they don't want anything to do with my pretty girl parts has nothing to do with being polite- they just plain ain't interested.


The other problem that turns up too often is that some boys are stupidly intimidated by a girl with strong male friends... gay or not. Well, that and vibrators, but again, that's a whole other can of worms... Though while we're on the subject of dating, I've got one more I don't mind throwing down - Sagittarions. I am officially vowing to avoid dating anymore gentlemen of the Archer persuasion. I just can't handle them, and maybe they can't handle me too, and that's fine, because we do not mesh well. I can literally fill my hand with exes who fall into that damnable month, and I will not be lured again. Mark my word, er mark my arrow. Sorry, bad pun.

1 comment:

Rose in bloom said...

Word of advice, don't try to make sheets out of red flags... they ain't built for that.

Damn good.